Behind That Fair Facade
by ithaswhatitisnt
Summary: Tohru doesn't seem to ever have a bad thought about anyone. But what about herself? After what Akito has told her about future life with the Sohmas, it begins to eat at her. Slight Kyoru. One swear, but not really.


I love Tohru's character, I really do, but especially after reading some manga chapters, I can't help but wonder if she ever has any thoughts drifting toward morbid or derogatory. Of course, not deogatory toward any of the Sohmas, but if she would ever blame herself for any of their plights. I know she likes to think the best of people, and give them the benefit of the doubt, but after a warning like Akito's, I would seriously consider heeding it, if not for myself, then for the sake of people that I loved. I do not own Fruits Basket or any of the characters mentioned.

* * *

I can't go out and face them. I can't. It's my fault. Kyo despises me. Yuki and Shigure can't stand me. The rest of the Sohmas...Akito was right. I don't belong here. I love them, and I'm pretty sure they love me, even though it's presumptuous to assume so, but I can't stay. It will be worse for everyone if I do. I'll have to take my tent and leave. Of course, I know I promised to stay on and help them, but I can't just face them at all.

"Tohru?" He's knocking at the door, even though it's locked and it's the middle of the night. Hana will likely be kicking the door down soon to complain about the disturbance in my electric wave signals.

"Tohru, please. We haven't seen you in weeks. That damned Yuki is becoming weaker by the day. He's losing his will to live." Damn it. I never intended for anyone to be hurt because of me. Especially not Yuki... "Shigure is getting fatter from all the take-out. And I..." His voice is faltering and I don't know why. A wave of panic swells in my chest, but I will myself to stay silent. It's for the best if they think I'm upset. His fist rocks the doorframe again, and I hear a gasp before the sobbing starts.

"Tohru, just come out. You're scaring everyone. I'm...I'm worried," he admits tearfully. No, not an admission. A ploy. It's a lie appealing to my wish to care for everyone and I can't fall for it this time. Kyo doesn't have that kind of personality and in the deepest piece of my heart, maybe I could dream he means it. But I can't afford to take that risk now. Maybe I could crawl out the window and land with minor injuries. I could escape to Arisa's, but Hana's is the better choice. They wouldn't look for me there.

But maybe I'm underestimating them. I don't know where I would be able to hide where the Sohma family couldn't find me. There are simply too many of them and they have access to too many resources. Not to mention their powers as members of the Chinese zodiac are second-to-none.

Maybe if I left...Akito would never allow any of them to leave his side for long. Even Kyo, who isn't an official member of the zodiac...Akito could not bear to have Kyo be so far out of his grasp. It's settled. I'll change my appearance and leave as soon as possible. I'll go somewhere the Sohma clan will never be able to find me.

"I'm sorry," he calls and for a second, my resolve wavers. I have come to care for Kyo deeply. I care for all of the Sohmas. But Akito has made it clear. A future without me is the only one they will be able to endure in order to keep their predestined plan running smoothly. I'll have to break their hearts to save them.

I can't tell Arisa or Hana, either. Granted, it's unlikely they would reveal any secrets of mine, but the Sohmas would persecute them endlessly if they believed there was information on me to be shared. I doubt even Hana's electric waves could save her, as sad as that sounds.

"Tohru," he calls, a lot softer this time, and I have to strain my ears to be able to hear what comes from his mouth next. "Tohru, please don't go." His voice drops to a whisper. "I love you." I stuff the blankets in my mouth to mute my sobs. I have known this for a long time. I have reciprocated those feelings. But Kyo is stubborn. He will always be stubborn, and as much as I want to save him, and the rest of the Sohmas, Akito has made it clear what will become of me if I continue to interfere. The many nights I have dreamed of becoming Mrs. Kyo Sohma will never come to fruition. I love Kyo Sohma. I will always love him. But I can no longer actively be part of his life.

Have I appeared too dense? Maybe I have. But truly, I only wish to help them. My happiness has no bearing on the subject.

When Kyo has gone, I find a scrap piece of paper and a pen. It has to be quiet enough, otherwise Shigure and Kyo could both pick up on the sound. Tears falling silently, I scribble a goodbye and a thank you to the Sohmas for enriching my life. Without looking back, I climb out the window, Mom clutched to my chest.

* * *

 _The next day_

* * *

Shigure nudged open the door to Tohru's room. She had never been a recluse in the past; there was no reason for her to act like one now. Her bed was made, the rest of her room immaculate. However, there was no smiling Tohru to greet him. There was a paper on her desk that caught his eye, and he picked it up:

 _I'm sorry for leaving. But after what Akito has threatened, I fear not for my safety, but for yours. So I will take my leave. Please don't look for me. Thank you for all you have done for me. Though it may be presumptuous, give my love to everyone. Tohru Honda_

Shigure dropped the note and sank onto Tohru's bed.

 _She did it_ , he mused. _I didn't think she actually would._

"Hey, Shigure, what's for dinner? Usually Tohru has it ready by now," Kyo said, stretching his arms over his head, and Shigure didn't even glance up at him. "Shigure? Did you hear me?" Without looking up, Shigure extended the damning note toward Kyo.

"Read this," he ordered dully, and Kyo took the note. Scanning it over, he released an anguished howl.

"We have to go look!" he exclaimed frantically. "We can't just ignore her on this; Shigure, please…let's just go bring her back."

"She's right, Kyo," Shigure said, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. "Akito could make things incredibly dire for the rest of us."

"Who cares?" Kyo shouted. "I'm already doomed to live in hell. What more can Akito do to me? At least let _me_ go!" Shigure said nothing as Kyo stomped out of the room, muttering feverishly about what he was going to do when he found Tohru.

In his heart of hearts, Shigure knew Tohru wasn't nearly as naïve as she seemed, and she would no doubt be able to find a safe place to call her own. He wanted to wish Kyo luck, but at the same time, he wished Kyo would fail on his asinine search.

 _If she doesn't want to be found, I'm not going to stop her. I just hope Kyo will come to realize that she's trying to save us all._

* * *

 _One year later_

* * *

A deceptively normal-looking brunette curled up in her one-room apartment with her orange cat and her cherished picture of her mother. She stroked the cat's head, cooing sweet nothings and holding him as closely as she could. She also made sure her mother's portrait had a full view of her and the cat.

"Look, Mom. Kyo and I are finally together," Tohru said cheerfully. She closed her eyes, Kyo's sweet purring lulling her to sleep.

 _I'd rather have the man, but for now, this will do_.

* * *

Just to clarify, it's literally just an orange cat that she picked up at a shelter (or on the street, whatever suits fancies) and decided to call it Kyo, to at least be able to fulfill one of her dreams. I would think that after graduating high school, perhaps Tohru's mom would've liked to see her daughter pair off with a good man. I think Kyoko would've loved Kyo.

Please review! :3


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